RAW this week starts with music and pyro.
Punk’s music hits and he walks out with a bullhorn! He shows it off and talks a bit on his way to the ring. Punk jumps up on the ropes in a corner and poses. King talks about Punk’s mic being shut off previously. Punk puts on a headset, talks to someone, then hands it back to the producer. The fans are wild for Punk who sits in the center of the ring.
Does he have everybody’s attention now? He taps the mic and says some recapping is in order. He didn’t watch last weeks show as he was suspended for some things he said. He didn’t get in trouble for announcing when his contract end. He didn’t get in trouble for saying he’s going to leave the company with the Title. Then he went off about VKM, Steph and for calling Trip a doofus. He got in trouble for saying things people are afraid to say. Like in and out of the ring this company’s filled with ass kissers. Not only is Punk reinstated, his match with Cena is still on, and “I brought backup in case they shut my mic off!” – through the bullhorn. Then he sets off the siren. The reason he’s holding a mic right now because VKM wants to sign him to a very long term, very lucrative contract. It’s funny that VKM is falling all over himself when all Punk wants is this mic. In his hands it’s a pipe bomb. VKM sees Punk for that he is, the highest commodity in this industry today.
He sees that way because Punk did something they couldn’t do – make WWE socially relevant. Not the fans there, but in the real world. The WWE had gotten a mention or two. First being because Punk’s speaking his mind. The second is because somebody died. It’s true! Now the WWE is all over YouTube. ESPN is falling all over themselves to get Punk to go on their shows. Kimmel’s people are ringing Punk’s phone off the hook, begging for his story.
It’s funny as Punk has one foot out the door and finally VKM wants to give him all he wants. If 5 years ago VKM had treated him like this, he wouldn’t have all this ammo to unload on him. He has so much to say. Punk sits back down in the center of the ring and smiles over in the direction of announce as the CM Punk chants hit. He knows VKM will expect Punk to have a man on man convo about the contract. But he like to do something different, so why not the first contract negotiation in the ring. Maybe he’ll sign, maybe he won’t. Maybe VKM will have to join something Punk likes to call the CM Punk Kiss My Ass Club! The fans love this!
Cena’s music and the whole vibe changes. Cena hits the ring and tells them to cut his music. Punk wants to talk, so talk. Punk’s say happily that it’s John Cena! Mixed reaction from the fans – even in Cena ‘hometown’. Punk thanks Cena for getting him reinstated to a job he didn’t really want in the first place. Thanks for giving Punk what he wants. When he beats Cena at MITB he’s going to change the belts as that thing’s been far too long! (April 11, 2005, but it hasn’t spun since – No Mercy 2007)
Punk says Cena made a couple things real on Sunday. Punk will win and leave. And now Cena will be fired? If Cena thinks he’s getting fired? What about a couple months ago when Cena was fired and it lasted all of seven days. Cena doesn’t have that to worry about.
Cena asks if Punk’s done. Punk says probably not, but Cena has something to say. Cena says they’ve been waiting five years to see that Punk has a set of balls. He’s out there to set the record straight. For three weeks we’ve only heard how Punk will walk out with the strap. That Cena’s just a pushover. Doesn’t matter who Punk faces in Chicago. Cena says he’s not a pushover. Cena was half knocked out when Punk said he was the best wrestler in the WWE.
Punk says he’s the best wrestler in the world. Cena says that Punk has set of balls, a big mouth and confidence. Punk also said that Cena is a vision of what WWE should be. Because Cena prances around to all the appearances and smiles for the camera. Cena says he does it because he loves it. Cena’s the best because he has the strap and earned it. Punk thinks he’s the best wrestler? A lot have thought that. HHH, JBL, Edge, Batista, HBK, even the late Eddie Guerrero. Every single one of them thought Cena couldn’t wrestle with them. Every single one was disappointed. He didn’t come out to run his mouth. Punk thinks he’s great? This is what Cena thinks – he has a mic, a megaphone, doesn’t care if Punk thinks he’s great, doesn’t care if VKM thinks he’s firing Cena, he’s going to Chicago to whip Punk’s ass!
Ding-Ding! And I quote, “Mr. McMahon is en route to negotiate with CM Punk, but in the mean time, I think if this is Cena’s last night on RAW, we should see him in action. Cena, don’t go anywhere as you’ll be competing in a very special match. Next.”
Cena looks confused. Punk’s backing up the ramp and tells Cena “good luck” through his bull horn.
– Commercial
Handicap Match – John Cena vs. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty
Cena asks if this will be a Lingerie Pillow Fight? Justin then announces that he was just informed that the GM has made the following match a Handicap Match. The Tag Team Champions come to the ring to face Cena.
Otunga and Cena lock up. Arm bar on Cena who rolls through and sends Otunga rolling. Chain wrestling to a snap mare and a chinlock on Otunga. Otunga to the ropes and Cena has to break. McGillicutty tags in and gets back on Cena’s arm with a hammer lock into a side headlock on McGillicutty. Shoulder blocks, then a hip toss on McGillicutty. McGillicutty rolls out to regroup. Otunga joins him out there and they talk.
– Commercial
Side headlock on Cena. During the break Otunga sent Cena into the barrier. McGillicutty still on Cena with the side headlock in the ring. Cena is about to slam McGillicutty back, but then he’s kicked into the heel corner. McGillicutty stomps Cena in his corner. McGillicutty out to work Cena on the apron. Otunga tags in and they double team Cena in their corner. Big blow drops Cena to the corner again. Otunga chokes Cena, but the ref pulls him off and McGillicutty on Cena outside. Otunga whips Cena. Cena blocks the suplex and hits his own. Both are down.
McGillicutty tags in, but eats a corner when Cena moves. Shoulder blocks to McGillicutty in what Cole calls ‘vintage’ Cena. McGillicutty slammed to the mat, then eats a Five Knuckle Shuffle. McGillicutty up, but Otunga pulls McGillicutty down. A double team from Nexus. McGillicutty pins, but only gets two on Cena. Cena set up top, blows form McGillicutty. McGillicutty climbs, but Cena blocks and overpowers McGillicutty. A head butt to McGillicutty who flies back. Cena from the top with a darn nice looking leg drop. Cena locks on the STF, but Otunga breaks it up. Otunga on Cena hard in a corner, then they double team Cena. But Super Cena back with an AA on McGillicutty, then a sends Otunga out over the top. Cena goes back and pins McGillicutty for three.
Winner – Cena
Video of the double teaming on Super Cena and how he came back from it. Cena celebrates in the ring.
– Commercial
Cole talks about Gorilla said the irresistible force meets the unmovable object and that will be this Sunday between Henry and Big Show. King tells Cole that he should never quote Monsoon. Then to a video recapping the problems between Henry and Big Show – all of Henry’s abuse on everyone.
Backstage Dolph and Vickie are talking. Vickie is pushing Dolph to try to talk VKM into firing Punk and Cena. That Dolph’s the premiers Superstar in the WWE. Vickie says that Dolph’s telling him how to do his job. Dolph’s not doing it by insulting him. Vickie acts like VKM, then Drew in and they go back and forth as VKM. Dolph then really rips on VKM to take his tacky suits, his old man hair and his dead possum breath and retire. Drew says it’s more like a dead possum, wrapped in a diaper. Vickie ads in that the diaper should be soaked in vomit. Then VKM comes behind Vickie. VKM calls him some of his fastest rising stars. VKM sets up a Tag Handicap Match between them and Big Show. VKM then asks for a mint and says what he really doesn’t want is bad breath – as he breathes in all their faces.
Stanford says people all over the world are wondering what will happen between him and Punk tonight. VKM asks all over the world. Stanford agrees. VKM says that all of them, all over the world, can go to hell.
Kelly in red, strap over her shoulder, heading for the ring.
– Commercial
WWE Rewind – Last month Kelly defeated Brie for the Divas Title.
Melina vs. Kelly
Melina is in the ring in black and silver. The Bellas are at announce in black tops and white jeans. Kelly out as the Bellas rip on her for being weak. Brie will be facing Kelly for the Title at MITB.
They lock up in the ring. Melina slams Kelly down, then wraps her arms around her own neck and knees Kelly in the back. Kelly screeches the whole time. The Bellas rip on how scrawny Kelly is. Clotheslines to Melina, then she’s whipped. Kelly screeches more, then hits a handspring back elbow followed by a stink face. Kelly slams Melina back, but can only get two from it. Melina kicks at Kelly, then tries a foot chop, but Kelly moves and Melina easily slides into a split on the mat. Kick from Kelly, then she hits her finisher and Kelly gets the win.
Winner – Kelly
The Bellas grab a mic and head into the ring. They tell Kelly to go find some food. Kelly’s skin is crying for help, to feed her. They call the camera in close and talk about Kelly’s zits. One of the Bellas said, “t worked great for Kelly Kelly, I mean Katy Perry.” They then called Kelly a ‘malnurtured’ (sic) nightmare. Kelly jumped a Bella. They both went after Kelly. Eve came to help, but they take Eve down too.
Backstage Miz is heading for the ring.
– Commercial
WWE Slam Of The Week – Last Monday Miz was on Riley, but Riley was able to counter and get the three. Miz then continued to dismantle Riley all around the ring, into the barrier, over announce.
There are ladders all around the ring, one in the ring. Miz climbs and sits up there, right under the case. He says he has no better view than looking down on them. He’s used to being on top and that makes him better than the rest. It’s not because he’s the most must see champ. It’s because he took this route. He’s felt it, smelled it, tasted it unlike all his other opponents. He knows how it feels to be a Champion and will again. He still has what it takes to be a Champion. He’s quite comfortable up there. That’s where the future happens and he’s still the future. Every pretender this Sunday in the MITBLM will learn why he’s the Miz and he’s –
Swagger’s music hits and cuts him off. Swagger asks that he’s the future? He’s at the top? Swagger has also won MITBLM and cashed in to become Champion. And he’ll do it again.
Miz asks really? Over and over. Miz asks Swagger a philosophical question. If someone wins the MITBLM, then cashes in to become Champion, but no one remembers it, did it really happen? Swagger says he doesn’t care what these idiots remember.
Evan’s music cuts them off. He says he doesn’t care what they’ve done, he wants to talk about what he’s going to do this Sunday. Evan runs and slides into the ring. He says he’s going to steal the show. Climb the ladder, go airborne and steal the show!
Kofi’s music and he bounces out. He says he appreciates Evan’s confidence as he does all their confidence. This is MITB! All 8 get in and put their bodies on the line. Their careers on the line. Anything can happen. Anyone can climbs and win this match. If Kofi wins it’s not because of what he says, but what he does on Sunday. Is it coincidence that one of the greatest was injured and had to retire? It was because of matches like this. That man was Edge.
R-Truth’s lack-of-music and he comes out saying surprise, surprise, surprise. The conspiracy continues. Everyone’s talking about Punk versus Cena. Two weeks ago he beat Cena, put him through a table. All you Little Jimmies saw it. Now he’s supposed to climb a ladder and grab a briefcase. How’s he supposed to climb and grab a briefcase when he’s got. When he’s got (searching for the word) acrophobia, y’all! (At least he got the fear of heights correct!) The conspiracy knows his fear of heights. Better not be an spiders either, he afraid of them too! That briefcase, if he opens that case and sees a spider? That briefcase is gonna get got! That’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the-
Riley’s music, Miz flees the ring when Riley gets there. Then ADR comes out in a 2011 Mercedes SL63. He stands on the seat and the door. He says this is a disgrace. He shouldn’t even be in MITB. He beat Rey, so he should be the contender! Now there’s Cena facing Punk? Why? Cena is afraid of ADR! Now, he has to do it all over again to show it’s his destiny to be the next WWE Champion. In six days he’ll teach each of them a lesson. That’SA lesson for destiny!
Ding-Ding! And I quote, “ADR has a point. Since we have six of the MITB competitors in the ring, let’s have a match. Miz, Swagger and R-Truth. You will team to face Evan, Riley and Kofi in a Six Man Match Up that starts now!”
– Commercial
Video about Big Show being on Burn Notice. They talk about kicking Big Show ass and the like. Big Show says he loves this show, so this is big for him to be there.
Miz & R-Truth & Swagger vs. Evan & Kofi & Riley
Swagger on Evan, slams him to the mat. Miz tags in and stomps Evan. Knees to Evan’s face, then chokes him in the ropes. Miz runs and kicks Evan in the head, but only gets two. R-Truth tags in and slams Evan to the mat. R-Truth drops a leg as King and Cole talk about phobias and how R-Truth screwed up – even though he really didn’t. Chinlock on Evan. Evan tries to get free, but is slammed down again, for two. R-Truth taunts Evan who wants to tag out. Front facelock on Evan as he tries to get to his corner. R-Truth hits a strange stunner and gets two for it. R-Truth chokes Evan in the ropes. Evan ducks a scissors kick ala Booker, but then eats a sweet high knee.
Kofi gets tot ag in and on R-Truth with clotheslines. Boom drop on R-Truth, the fans behind him all the way. A cheap shot on Swagger who tried to go after Kofi. Kofi kicks R-Truth in the face, then comes off the top in a HUGE cross body. Miz breaks the pin attempt. R-Truth tries to clothesline Kofi through the ropes, but Kofi ends up forcing himself out as it went a bit screwy.
– Commercial
Miz pins Kofi for two. R-Truth tags in and the double suplex Kofi. R-Truth pins Kofi for two. R-Truth with his legs sloppily around Kofi’s neck on the mat. Kofi struggles, works around. Evan yells at Kofi to pop his head out. R-Truth lets Kofi free. Swagger tags in and they try to double team Kofi and keep him away from tagging out. Kofi reverses into a double DDT and was able to tag out.
Riley on Swagger with a spear, then clotheslines and a spine buster. Riley brings Miz in hard, but is then taken down by R-Truth. Evan takes R-Truth out. Swagger goes for his splash, but eating Riley’s feet. Riley then hit his DDP and gets the three.
Winner – Riley & Evan & Kofi
Miz rushes in and hits Riley with a SCF. Then Kofi in and takes Miz out. R-Truth clotheslines Kofi from the ring. Big boot from Evan to R-Truth. Evan climbs, but is pushed off the corner by ADR. ADR slides a ladder into the ring. He goes in and slams the ladder into each and every one of the others. ADR throws the ladder out onto Miz. Miz is left holding his arm, hopefully just selling. ADR’s music plays as bodies lay all over the place. ADR looks up at the case.
Video recap of Punk’s diatribe and VKM’s reaction last week. Then Cena’s reactions to all of that. Cena tried to walk out, but VKM gave him his match, but threatened to fire Cena if Punk walks out of Chicago with the Title.
– Commercial
Handicap Match Big Show vs. Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
Drew, Dolph and Vickie to the ring. Big Show out to face them. Video of Henry putting Big Show through the side of the cage.
Dolph in with Big Show, but looks at show and tags in Drew. Big Show reaches and flings Drew into the ring over the top rope, then slaps Dolph across the chest sending him flying from the apron. Drew tries to get on Big Show, but is whipped, then some knees and punches. Short clothesline to Drew. Big Show picks Drew up and slams him to the mat. Dolph hides on the floor, peeking over the apron. Drew sent flying out, Big Show went after him. Drew is sent, with one hand, into the barrier. Vickie hides, then Big Show chases Drew who tries to flee. Big Show takes Drew down on the ramp. I hear the bell ring, so they must have been counted out.
Winner – ?
Drew tries to punch, but Big Show uses one hand and sends Drew into the smaller WWE sign on the stage. Big Show drags Drew to the edge of the stage. He gets Drew up for a choke slam, but then Henry blindsides him. Henry slams into Big Show and all three go over the side together. The camera shows Henry and Big Show side by side, but I have no clue where Drew went.
– Commercial
Henry’s being helped out of the mess, yelling at the refs to get off him. King and Cole talk about what Henry did and how they’ll face off at MITB. Video of ADR’s attack with the ladder. Video of prior MITBLMs.
Split screen, backstage Punk and VKM are heading for the ring.
– Commercial
VKM comes out, then heads back. VKM out again, but then heads back again. The third time he tells Justin to shut up, but he goes on and announces VKM. The fourth time VKM gets the reaction from the fans that he wants, so he struts to the ring. He shakes the hand of a little girl in the front row. VKM by announce, then over to say hello to Cena’s father.
VKM thanks the fans. He wants to hear it for himself. He says that anyone who thinks he’s joining the Punk Kiss My Ass Club – that won’t happen. On his knees when someone dropped trou, he could never ever do that. The whole thing is bothersome as it’s a public negotiation. Contracts shouldn’t be negotiated in public. It’s Punk wants. VKM stumbles over the name and calls him a punk. VKM then wonders what the CM stands for.
Punk out mocking VKM’s strut across the stage. Punk down to the ring. Punk drops his files on the table, but won’t shake VKM’s offered hand. VKM opens his files and sits. His chair is really low, so he has to pump it up. He demands Punk sign it. They get all verbally macho together. Punk says VKM is going through with it? He’s so pro Cena, he expected to see VKM in Cena gear. But he really doesn’t have faith in Cena. VKM says that this isn’t about his faith. He’s going to make Punk a richer man, but couldn’t bare to see Punk walk out on the last day of his contract with VKM’s Title. VKM then calls him Phil!
Punk says his lawyers looked over the contract and it wasn’t up to par. So his lawyers wrote up a new one. Punk’s already signed it, all VKM has to do is sign it. He thinks VKM should know about a couple new perks. Contractual things shouldn’t happen in public, well let’s ask the WWE Universe if they want this in public? The do. He want to know Punk’s new perks? VKM says not to push him. Provision number one is that Punk gets to push VKM. Punk pushes VKM’s arm. He’ll kick VKM in the nuts and VKM will smile. Or this Sunday Punk will win and walk out with the WWE Title!
Provision #1, he wants his own jet. He doesn’t want VKM’s jet, it smells. Punk wants a new jet. Provision #2, Punk wants his face on everything! On the tron on the buckles, cups, posters, spoons, knives, forks, shoes, socks. Everything with his face on it. Wants VKM to bring back the WWE ice cream bars (I will admit I cheered loudly for this – kids think I lost it). “We want ice cream!” chants. Punk says he just made VKM a million dollars on ice cream sales. He wants WWE Films to immediately start production on CM Punk, The Movie. You can call it Chaperone 2, but his will be funny, entertaining and successful. One last thing, the main event of WM being Cena versus VKM’s friend Dwayne – that’s the Rock for those who don’t watch bad Disney movies. VKM can have that fantasy, but Punk’s match will be the main event. The last thing this contract states is that VKM will apologize to Punk for suspending him last week. He’s apologizing to the fans for being one of the biggest hypocrites Punk’s met. As far as the anti-bullying campaign? VKM is the biggest bully Punk’s ever met and will apologize.
“CM Punk” chants fill the arena! Punk says he’s had very talented friends work here and be unceremoniously fired. VKM says they deserved it. Punk says VKM doesn’t know what the fans want. Guys like Colt Cabana and Luke Gallows. VKM will apologize to Punk for them as they can’t be there. He’s CM Punk and he’s the voice for the voiceless! VKM will apologize and will like it!
VKM says to calm down and get this signed. Just calm down and be gentlemen and businessmen. Punk says should they be gentlemen or apologize? The fans call for apologize. Punk says to sign and spare his company any further embarrassment. VKM says to get it over with. He’s eaten a crap sandwich out there. Punk flips the table, so VKM gets to his feet.
“We want ice cream!” chants and VKM yells that he doesn’t give a crap what they want! Punk says that’s the problem, he doesn’t give a damn. Punk’s problem is that he cares too much. Punk’s a bad guy, but in touch with what they want and right now Boston wants to hear an apology.
VKM says, “Sorry. Okay? Sorry.” Punk keeps asking what? He says if ever there was an appropriate time, what? VKM sneers, “I apologize you son of a bitch!” Punk up on a corner and says better than winning the World Tile three times, VKM apologized to Punk! Punk tells VKM to pick it up and sign it before the stock plummets some more.
VKM makes a show of opening the file, getting the pen. “Colt Cabana!” chants from some and, “We want Ice cream!” from others. VKM is about to sign when Cena’s music hits again. Cena comes out smiling slightly. He grabs a mic and into the ring. Cena tells Punk, fine speech. They love Punk and will in his hometown in Chicago, the night he walks out on all of the fans. Last week Cena asked for a match. A match Punk earned and the fans want to see. But right now their a bunch of spoiled brats. Back and forth. Cena gets it. He feels mistreated and hurts, hates VKM. You know how many times Cena’s walked into the locker room and wanted to rip VKM’s face off with his bare hands, make it into a bath mat. Something classy from Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he wants to go step in crap and wipe them on that floor mat of VKM’s face. Then have his dog come in and pee on that bath mat covered in crap. Then flush it down the toilet, that’s how much he hates this guy, but he shows up everyday. If Cena doesn’t show it shorts VKM, but it’s the fans who lose.
Punk talks hypocrites, but he’s the biggest of them all. He does all of this, then will walks out. There was a guy who came in and said he’s home – Punk says not to go there – and never leaving again. VKM says something, but Cena says, “Easy Dragon breath. What you do, eat Big Foot’s diaper?” Cena’s point is that Cena knows Punk’s not that guy, but he’s taunting VKM with all these demands when all Punk wants to do is take the strap and walk out. His strongest attribute is his biggest flaw. He beats to his won drum and Cena likes that. But in the path of doing what he wants, he lost sight of what he wants.
Punk says that he doesn’t fit that mold. Punk is the underdog. The greats like Eddie said Cena can’t hang, now it’s Cena doing that to Punk. Punk was hanging off Cena’s gangster car at WMXXII. Stood there in a suit, holding a phony Tommy gun. He swore that some day he wouldn’t be watching Cena, but watching Cena go down to Punk. Now, here they are in Cena’s hometown of Boston. Next week in Chicago. Cena has lost sight. When he says Punk’s lost sight. Cena in the red of his Sox who protray as the underdog. Like the Bruins portray as the underdog. Like the Pats think they’re the underdog. The Celts too? This is what Cena lost sight of, with his father and wife, right here in the front row – Cena tells Punk to be easy. Punk continues to say that what Cena’s lost sight of and what Cena is what he hates. He’s the man. Cena, like Boston are no longer the underdogs. They’ve become the Dynasty they hate, like the NY Yankees.
Cena punches Punk in the head, hard. Punk rolls out fast, bounces past VKM. Punk calls VKM Steinbrenner and says Cena might as well be Jeter! Punk back up the ramp yelling that he’s the underdog.
Cena’s music, but Punk tells them to shut the music off. Punk sits at the top of the ramp. He says he has something to say and is positive that they want to hear it! The fans at home want to hear it. Everyone has their DVRs fired up because they want to hear it. He’s glad Cena punched him and it went down this way. It hit him about why he wants to leave. He’s tired of Cena. He’s just tired. Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title. Say goodbye to Cena. And says goodbye to CM Punk. Punk rips up the contract. He says he’ll go be the best in the world someplace else. Punk waves his hand in front of his face, then glares down at Cena who glares right back.
Biggest pop
Riley
Kofi
Evan
Biggest heat
Miz
ADR
Most mixed
Cena
Punk
VKM